Why Grumpy Mommy, Frumpy Mommy?

I’ll be honest with you.

I used to be a cute, vivacious, fun lady. I have been asked on several occasions throughout my adulthood, “Why are you so happy all the time?” I was joyful. I had passion for my faith. I had style. I had finally figured out how to make my curly hair look cool. I could say the words “me time” without erupting in laughter as if it someone had made a hilariously ironic statement.

Like the protagonist in the first act of any Disney princess movie, I was young, naive, and full of hope for all the possibilities the world had to offer.

Please don’t get me wrong — I’m a still a God-fearing, Jesus-following woman who LOVES and appreciates my husband and my three adorable misfits. I live most days with gratitude and laughter because having a family of your own is filled with SO MANY wonderful, funny, and priceless moments.

Motherhood is also extremely difficult at times. Somewhere along the way, I began to struggle to have daily joy and passion in my faith. (Trading in my fashion sense for stretchy pants and t-shirts was not helping my cause either.)

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If we’re all being honest, when many of us women become wives and mothers, we’re suddenly sleep deprived and adjusting to new and ever-changing routines with small children. We’re dealing with the terrible two’s and three’s and the fearsome fours with at least one of our small humans fighting us tooth and nail about seemingly e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g.

There are school schedules and volunteer expectations. Book clubs, PTA meetings, after school programs, before school programs (when did that start happening?).

“Me time” seems to be a thing of the past. (I mean “me time” in the sense of recharging and self-care so that you don’t become a fire-breathing dragon lady can be the best wife, mom, employee, boss, sister, daughter and friend possible.) Finding the time to exercise, participate in a creative outlet, and fill your soul and heart with God’s Word? Fuhgeddaboudit! 

A couple of years ago, I was talking to my husband and jokingly referred to myself as “Grumpy Mommy, Frumpy Mommy.”

I started to look at that phrase and the implications of it. I certainly did not appear to be grumpy to any of my friends, family, or coworkers. To outsiders, I was outgoing, friendly and happy. I’ve even had people question whether I ever get mad!

That’s why this blog is not called “Grumpy Lady, Frumpy Lady” or “Grumpy Employee, Frumpy Employee” or “Grumpy Friend, Frumpy Friend.” It is in my role as a wife and a mother that I have silently struggled. I look around and see other moms who are cheerful, patient, braving outings with their kids in tow….when my attempts often end up  disastrous and exhausting. As a Christian, I felt as though I was falling short of the joyful, patient, graceful, gentle, and kind mother I believe the Scriptures call us to be.

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Writing is my outlet, and instead of continuing to process this whole thing internally, I decided it’s time to start talking about it!  I have to believe that I’m not the only woman who is striving to find joy in the midst of time-outs, potty training, dishes, laundry, messes, noise, and whining. The Apostle Paul says in Philippians 4:12:

“I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation…”

So I believe joy and contentment is possible — even for moms during the hard years.

I’m on a journey to rediscover the JOY in my faith, family, and fashion.  This blog is not about being a sarcastic, grumpy mom who lacks gratitude and peace. It’s a blog about FINDING JOY in the mundane, in the mission of motherhood, in the ups and downs of life. I’m going back to the basics of what it means to be the wife and mother God has called me to be. I want to share this journey with honesty, grace, and humor.

I hope you will join me!

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